Last week was not great for me. It was one of those weeks where nothing particularly bad had happened, but nonetheless you feel grumpy, sad, and frustrated all the time. The fact that you don’t really know why everything suddenly feels so wrong makes it all the worse.
Given this mood swing, I didn’t feel particularly creative or productive last week. Most days were spent dealing with day-to-day work matters and trying to escape my feelings via the gym or a book. There was no exciting new spark of ideas. So naturally, I almost bailed on writing this newsletter too, because I felt like I have no inspiring thoughts to share.
But one of the important lessons I learned in my late teens and early twenties is that these weird, depressive feelings that arise seemingly out of nowhere are more common than you might think. It always feels like no one else could ever understand what you’re going through, but with the all the mature wisdom of my mid-twenties, I now know that I’m far from the only person to feel demotivated, uninspired, and generally a bit down.
Another thing I’ve learned is that isolation and rumination don’t really help process these random bouts of sadness. I can sit by myself for hours listening to sad music and trying to understand why I’m feeling this way, but I never reach a satisfying conclusion. Instead, connection and activity are the medicines I need. The cloud lifts, at least for a little bit, when I quash my desire to hide in my bed all day and go spend time with a friend or do something more active that brings me joy.
No matter how baselessly down I’m feeling right now, and how much I want to hide under the covers and avoid all responsibilities, I thought I would do something different with the newsletter this week and share a couple of things that have been getting me through the day during this moody episode. Part reminder to myself of what I have to look forward to this week, part inspiration for you to look out for the little bits of joy in life. I’m personally ambivalent about romanticizing life, as all the TikTokers suggest we should do now, but I do think that finding little pockets of joy in otherwise unremarkable days can go a long way to improve your mood.
So, in no particular order, here are the ordinary little things I’ll be looking forward to this week:
1. Movement: I vary my fitness routine a lot throughout the year, but regardless of what form it takes, it always brings me a lot of joy and comfort. Right now I’m sort of following a YouTube program doing half an hour of light weights each morning, and running on weekends. I wake up early, put on a podcast, and squat and lunge and curl while watching the sun rise. It feels like the definition of a moment for myself, that I get to inhabit without interruption, fully and selfishly.
2. Reading: Whenever I feel the desire to escape my world for a little bit, I turn to fiction. Reading fiction helps me put reality on pause in a way that no other genre (or TV for that matter) quite attains. I just finished Age of Vice by Deepti Kapoor, and am currently tearing through Monica Heisey’s Really Good, Actually. Lately, I’ve noticed that I’m craving relatability: I’m drawn to novels with characters or settings that are similar to my own, as if I want to learn from someone else navigate my world.
3. Connecting: I haven’t seen my parents in a while, but every morning I send them each individually a Facebook message. We have a brief chat about our days, and they send me photos from home. It’s a small but heartwarming ritual which feels particularly pleasant when I spend most mornings working alone. My mood also really lifted after spending last weekend going to museums, watching TV, and enjoying good food with my boyfriend, and an almost 8-hour long dinner and catch-up with my close friends from college.
4. Feeling awakened by the piercing cold every time I walk outside + watching dogs play in the snow.
5. All the drinks I can make at home now: unlimited cups of piping hot coffee, a berry smoothie at lunch, a matcha latte if I’m feeling fancy, jasmine tea, and maybe a little glass of fruity wine.
6. The random little everyday pleasures: An extra evening run after work. Zoom dates. Planning some more creative projects, even though I feel zero energy to actually work on them right now. The promise of another empty weekend to fill with activities of my choosing. Looking forward to the newsletters I read, knowing exactly the days when my favorite publications drop. Watching cosy vlogs on YouTube that help me feel calm and relaxed just by watching them.
The list is so basic! But not every day can be full of fun outings and parties. Most of the time we have to make do with a much more mundane reality, and I want to find a way to feel content within that. These little things truly make me happy, no matter how small or frivolous they are. So, whether you’ve had a meh week like me or are just getting on with your day-to-day, why not take a moment to focus on the things that you get to look forward to?
Totally with you on the “meh” feeling - plus an extreme bout of post-natal rage has left me randomly hulking out for no apparent rhyme or reason 😂
My initial reaction was to hibernate and ignore the world but that made things much worse, so my new aim is to leave the house every day - whether it’s for a reason or just to wander to the park and back. Getting outside (as much as it required energy and effort that I sometimes don’t have) definitely helps!
Hard relate to feeling down for no particular reason. Love your list of pick me ups tho!